The Normalcy of Saying Goodbye

On Saturday night, April 4th I said goodbye to my parents after an evening of small talk, computer repairs, instructions on how to use the lawn tractor and general normalcy. 12 hours later I discovered that it was my final good-bye to my dad. He passed away Sunday morning. I had made a point to be over there the previous 2 weeks after he had a stroke, heart attack and was diagnosed with cancer. Those 2 weeks, and the 4 days preceding that I spent with him in the hospital were golden and I am so grateful that God allowed that time to be normal and together.

As pointed out to me by Diane last night, it was also the time that I really grieved. I would return home from visiting very conscious that he only had a little time left (although hoping he would have more). Although at that point he wasn't gone yet, he was going and I felt the freedom to grieve knowing it was around the corner. Those visits were simple and normal; chit-chat and hanging around - but then again they were not normal. They also included instructions about things I would need to take care of after his death. Saturday night, the night before he died, he really wanted to explain to me in detail how to use his lawn tractor.

After he died my nephew Jeremiah came over and unloaded some footage from his video camera onto my computer. He had my dad's 80th birthday party on there from a few years ago. He was vibrant, laughing, and the way I want to remember him. Below is a doctored photo that I made for his birthday card for that party. It is him in front of the lawn tractor that he really wanted and one that he probably wished to be explaining how to use that last Saturday night.